17 years ago, I gained my first exposure to meteorology by seeing the PBS special Cyclone and connecting what was introduced to me there to the atmosphere I had seen even when I was still a toddler. From there my journey took me through the brightest and darkest sides of humanity and through the many workings of the atmosphere itself.
This Thursday I will complete my last final exam of my undergraduate degree and at last will officially become a meteorologist. Something I have poured creativity, soul, tears, and shattered pieces of my heart into. My early career has taken me to places and ideas that I didn't even know existed and to things that were only hinted at in my young childhood. Although the insight and inquiry that I have learned to love as a scientist are now two key aspects of my identity, these revelations haven't come without sacrifice.
Right now I am currently placed in an economy that is the worst for young people and college graduates since WWII. After being rejected from the graduate schools that I had applied to (for what reasons I'm still not completely sure) I will now have to enter the workforce before student loans come due. And after my extremely heavy academic workload I will have to find time to regain both my physical and emotional health in the real world. At many times I have been extremely disillusioned with the profession that I have chosen and in many cases felt abandoned for some predisposition that I cannot discern. But I know that things will change for the better no matter what forces are in control.
Despite these circumstances, I feel that this week is one of the most important in my life. Where I feel that my true personality will be finally free to express itself after being shoved to the side for "more important things in life". My personality is both my gift and the bane of my existence. With it I can break from conformity and realize what happiness truly is. However at the same time, I'm mostly considered too strange to even be embraced fully. Though despite fads, ridicule, so called "advice", and pure lies I feel like when I am living on my own things will change. Even Steve Jobs promoted "thinking differently" and I refuse to be subjugated to banality and the loss of things that are beautiful. I will make each day my own and give it those I care for the most. I have no regrets about who I am or what I have done. If certain people still do not care about these kinds of things in their lives, then that will be to their own detriment.
Even through all these obstacles and fear I still remember the scientists that chased after tornadoes long ago, fuelled by their curiosity and desire to learn alone. I still remember the childhood before ostracism where I felt pure happiness, the Holy Spirit, and creativity flow between me and others like a river. And I know that this period in my life will return soon and in a better form than even before. When I did visit OU during my freshman year, Chuck Doswell lectured me about "ownership" and how preparation and opportunity could bring us both academic an professional success. Although this is a subsidiary of what I believe, "ownership" to me is the full circle of my personality being revealed to not be useless, but the key to my successes. With my inner self I beheld the perfect sunrise of what my life could be and now I feel that I will realize it. However where I will go is still unclear, but I know that where I end up will be the place I have dreamt about ever since I was a young child.
