Many years ago, just when I began to become interested in meteorology, my social existence was once in balance. Back then I felt like I could recite everything that was swirling in my mind at that moment and could unite with another person in heart and in spirit. But unfortunately as I grew older that feeling melted away quickly and I was considered something to scorn and to toss aside as some kind of sideshow to the greater realities of everyday problems. I had no voice, and seemingly had no meaning in a world where other things took higher precedence.
That year was 1998, and since then I have become the meteorologist that I've worked to become for 17 years. I have a voice in poetry and in photography also and despite the continual economic challenges of the early 2010s my career feels like it's going in the right direction. However beyond any accolade, award, or dream job that I receive, my greatest accomplishment is something far more deeper.
This new time in my life gives me an element of power that I felt that I would never reach again. Instead of fearing of being berated on the reasons why I am worthless, I can now change to some extent the circumstances in which my life is based around. Movements, politicians, promises of some golden empire that I'll rule from a subdivision, they all mean nothing without being free of a system that almost destroyed both my soul and my personality. What are rebellions to rally around if you are hated? In my view they are absolutely nothing and even in college horrid social circumstances have reminded me what brings me solace and what is just a collection of false promises.
So as I now join the adult world, I do this without longing for the past or fear that I will become a castaway or leper of my generation. I make my life my sanctuary, not a worship of ideas that I'm coerced to conform to. It will take a long time to heal all of the damage my peers have done to me, but I have come to forgive those who are still ignorant to understand and cherish those who actually gave just a small amount of time to be with me. I know that my life is worth something, I just had to silence the voices that told me that it wasn't.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Ownership and Meteorology for a Liftetime
17 years ago, I gained my first exposure to meteorology by seeing the PBS special Cyclone and connecting what was introduced to me there to the atmosphere I had seen even when I was still a toddler. From there my journey took me through the brightest and darkest sides of humanity and through the many workings of the atmosphere itself.
This Thursday I will complete my last final exam of my undergraduate degree and at last will officially become a meteorologist. Something I have poured creativity, soul, tears, and shattered pieces of my heart into. My early career has taken me to places and ideas that I didn't even know existed and to things that were only hinted at in my young childhood. Although the insight and inquiry that I have learned to love as a scientist are now two key aspects of my identity, these revelations haven't come without sacrifice.
Right now I am currently placed in an economy that is the worst for young people and college graduates since WWII. After being rejected from the graduate schools that I had applied to (for what reasons I'm still not completely sure) I will now have to enter the workforce before student loans come due. And after my extremely heavy academic workload I will have to find time to regain both my physical and emotional health in the real world. At many times I have been extremely disillusioned with the profession that I have chosen and in many cases felt abandoned for some predisposition that I cannot discern. But I know that things will change for the better no matter what forces are in control.
Despite these circumstances, I feel that this week is one of the most important in my life. Where I feel that my true personality will be finally free to express itself after being shoved to the side for "more important things in life". My personality is both my gift and the bane of my existence. With it I can break from conformity and realize what happiness truly is. However at the same time, I'm mostly considered too strange to even be embraced fully. Though despite fads, ridicule, so called "advice", and pure lies I feel like when I am living on my own things will change. Even Steve Jobs promoted "thinking differently" and I refuse to be subjugated to banality and the loss of things that are beautiful. I will make each day my own and give it those I care for the most. I have no regrets about who I am or what I have done. If certain people still do not care about these kinds of things in their lives, then that will be to their own detriment.
Even through all these obstacles and fear I still remember the scientists that chased after tornadoes long ago, fuelled by their curiosity and desire to learn alone. I still remember the childhood before ostracism where I felt pure happiness, the Holy Spirit, and creativity flow between me and others like a river. And I know that this period in my life will return soon and in a better form than even before. When I did visit OU during my freshman year, Chuck Doswell lectured me about "ownership" and how preparation and opportunity could bring us both academic an professional success. Although this is a subsidiary of what I believe, "ownership" to me is the full circle of my personality being revealed to not be useless, but the key to my successes. With my inner self I beheld the perfect sunrise of what my life could be and now I feel that I will realize it. However where I will go is still unclear, but I know that where I end up will be the place I have dreamt about ever since I was a young child.
This Thursday I will complete my last final exam of my undergraduate degree and at last will officially become a meteorologist. Something I have poured creativity, soul, tears, and shattered pieces of my heart into. My early career has taken me to places and ideas that I didn't even know existed and to things that were only hinted at in my young childhood. Although the insight and inquiry that I have learned to love as a scientist are now two key aspects of my identity, these revelations haven't come without sacrifice.
Right now I am currently placed in an economy that is the worst for young people and college graduates since WWII. After being rejected from the graduate schools that I had applied to (for what reasons I'm still not completely sure) I will now have to enter the workforce before student loans come due. And after my extremely heavy academic workload I will have to find time to regain both my physical and emotional health in the real world. At many times I have been extremely disillusioned with the profession that I have chosen and in many cases felt abandoned for some predisposition that I cannot discern. But I know that things will change for the better no matter what forces are in control.
Despite these circumstances, I feel that this week is one of the most important in my life. Where I feel that my true personality will be finally free to express itself after being shoved to the side for "more important things in life". My personality is both my gift and the bane of my existence. With it I can break from conformity and realize what happiness truly is. However at the same time, I'm mostly considered too strange to even be embraced fully. Though despite fads, ridicule, so called "advice", and pure lies I feel like when I am living on my own things will change. Even Steve Jobs promoted "thinking differently" and I refuse to be subjugated to banality and the loss of things that are beautiful. I will make each day my own and give it those I care for the most. I have no regrets about who I am or what I have done. If certain people still do not care about these kinds of things in their lives, then that will be to their own detriment.
Even through all these obstacles and fear I still remember the scientists that chased after tornadoes long ago, fuelled by their curiosity and desire to learn alone. I still remember the childhood before ostracism where I felt pure happiness, the Holy Spirit, and creativity flow between me and others like a river. And I know that this period in my life will return soon and in a better form than even before. When I did visit OU during my freshman year, Chuck Doswell lectured me about "ownership" and how preparation and opportunity could bring us both academic an professional success. Although this is a subsidiary of what I believe, "ownership" to me is the full circle of my personality being revealed to not be useless, but the key to my successes. With my inner self I beheld the perfect sunrise of what my life could be and now I feel that I will realize it. However where I will go is still unclear, but I know that where I end up will be the place I have dreamt about ever since I was a young child.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Sunlight of a New Day
As I sit here tonight, like so many other nights, wrapped in my own thoughts and ideas, I can't help but look back over the time that I've been through college and what I've learned and how I have such a clearer picture on what I want out of life.
Through both an economic recession, and with a very few exceptions, a big waste of my time socially, I've come to realize that no amount of academic prowess, unions of ideas, or inquiries will bring you closer to the friendships that you've always wanted. The white picketed fence, the social changes, some empire to revel or worship over is nothing without someone to pick up the pieces when you shatter. Such simple nourishment, such trust, is something I've rarely, or possibly never, had in my life and if I had my own Mirror of Arised; that's what it would show.
What remains of my time here in college, I realize that the aspects of my personality that I have suppressed to help alleviate these social circumstances cannot be held back any longer. Slowly my inner feelings, desires, and visions of the future will be all held entirely for everyone to see. If this causes some form of conformist (or bohemian hipster) animosity than that is their own inner workings. Just because of your social circle doesn't make you better than me. If this makes me "ignorant" or "non-progressive" or any other epithets that might be levied my way, the let it be so.
If the most ardent conservative who wants to know how I compete, or some angry college liberal wants to know how I somehow rectify some nascent intolerant tendency I would tell them this. My heart is forever unified with the inner workings of my mind. Inquiry is what I live by, but yet I take the time to let my soul fill with the nourishment that only those I trust provide. As long in some small way I advance humanity through my professional work or personal actions I will still have the light of a new day woven inside me. I will never be able to satisfy everyone and the things that define their existence. I just hope that I will one day unify my heart with another kind and like minded person.
Have a wonderful night,
Justin Lynn Reid
Through both an economic recession, and with a very few exceptions, a big waste of my time socially, I've come to realize that no amount of academic prowess, unions of ideas, or inquiries will bring you closer to the friendships that you've always wanted. The white picketed fence, the social changes, some empire to revel or worship over is nothing without someone to pick up the pieces when you shatter. Such simple nourishment, such trust, is something I've rarely, or possibly never, had in my life and if I had my own Mirror of Arised; that's what it would show.
What remains of my time here in college, I realize that the aspects of my personality that I have suppressed to help alleviate these social circumstances cannot be held back any longer. Slowly my inner feelings, desires, and visions of the future will be all held entirely for everyone to see. If this causes some form of conformist (or bohemian hipster) animosity than that is their own inner workings. Just because of your social circle doesn't make you better than me. If this makes me "ignorant" or "non-progressive" or any other epithets that might be levied my way, the let it be so.
If the most ardent conservative who wants to know how I compete, or some angry college liberal wants to know how I somehow rectify some nascent intolerant tendency I would tell them this. My heart is forever unified with the inner workings of my mind. Inquiry is what I live by, but yet I take the time to let my soul fill with the nourishment that only those I trust provide. As long in some small way I advance humanity through my professional work or personal actions I will still have the light of a new day woven inside me. I will never be able to satisfy everyone and the things that define their existence. I just hope that I will one day unify my heart with another kind and like minded person.
Have a wonderful night,
Justin Lynn Reid
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